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It happened mid-afternoon, September 25, 2020, the blinds of my study patterned with light, the whir of my concentrator like rhythmic bellows.

I was seated in my wing-back chair, my legs propped up on the hassock, and an opened book in my lap when exhaustion hollowed my awareness and plunged me within an observer role: Up onto my wheeled walker, into my bedroom, then sitting on my bed and looking around. It was not my intent to go there. In vain, I commanded my body to return to my study—It refused. 

Then my shoulder felt the comforter beneath me, then my legs. I waited for what would come next. Long moments seemed to pass. Then, I watched my body, no longer of use; it seemed to fall away from my spirit like outworn scaffolding from a new building. Left in its wake was my spirit resembling a vibrant sprig of evergreen.

In front of me next appeared a large screen, woven with strands of gold and brown rushes emanating from its center. I was alone.

Then, total darkness—Sleep followed for two hours.

Another message from my unconscious to reflect upon—my body-spirit separation felt so effortless, like a natural progression: the used giving way to something totally other. I just had to let it happen. But the screen, suggestive of Oriental artistry, still blocked the full import of the revelation.

I continue waiting—for more.

thrusts through womb trough

chills lung sacs

startles color/sound splashes

stretches gummy muscles

pokes around the edge of things

joys in breast folds

tears in alien darkness

toe-clings first steps

collects skinned knees

accepts the “No”

discovers inner worlds of puppy, butterfly, lady bug, tortoise

indwells with earth rhythms

rejoices in sun/clouds patterning

tastes the sunset peach

captures words, both silent and still

uncovers the dark side

releases festering waters

chews the tough hide of disappointment

listens to the turning point

washes in stillness

whistles canyon echoes

winks at unseen helpers

presses juices from happenings

shuffles toward soul embrace

desires night dreams

greets inner shamans

colors mornings and evenings

diminishes through aging

sucked into to the black hole

surrenders to the ravager, death

restores to the mystery

 

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