This morning’s dream tumbled into consciousness for my review:

I just finished knitting a white cardigan, using a pattern to incorporate intricate designs on the sleeves, then added pearl buttons. It occurred to me that the cardigan would fit my sister Martha, short in stature. I offer the cardigan to her, a perfect fit. She is delighted.

The dream suggests Twelve Step recovery in my psyche.

Implicit within the dream was planning for the task: the image of what I wanted to knit, the pattern, sufficient yarn and knitting needles, measuring tape, scissors, and a quiet workspace. Sufficient time, willingness, and patience also featured into the plan. Occasional mistakes required ripping lines of yarn from the needle and referring back to the pattern. Yet with each knit or pearl stitch, the cardigan grew, as did my enthusiasm.

Before embracing Twelve Step work such focus would have been impossible. Planning was a waste of time. Free-floating anxiety precluded following directions or correcting mistakes, unfinished projects stuffed in drawers and forgotten. Too impatient to ask for help, it was my way, or no way.

Also of note in the dream is the thought of my sister Martha. When enmeshed in my diseases of alcoholism and chronic pain and illness, it was rare that I thought of others. Symptoms devoured my outlook on life, and self-pity, a constant irritant.

Once enlisted in Higher Power’s care through Steps One, Two, and Three, however, I discovered new facets of my humanness: Relationships were not to be skirted, nor hardships, denied, even living with a terminal illness.