Step Ten of Chronic Pain Anonymous – Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

Step Ten, the first of three maintenance Steps, challenged me to remain awake to my inner world and note whenever frustrated instincts let loose fear, resentments, dishonesty, and selfishness. Rather than entertain them, an old behavior that had salved my wounds and heightened the drama of fantasies, I sought their removal through interfacing them with the Twelve Steps of CPA. Such action enhanced spiritual fitness, deepened my trust in Higher Power’s design for life during my end time, and facilitated my usefulness to Him.

Of course, harming others required making amends. But with my homebound status and the onset of the pandemic, few visitors came by.

However, my ILD with Rheumatoid Arthritis continued to enslave me within weakness and shortness of breath that provoked self-centered fear: it crimped my entire person. An attitude change was critical if I was to salvage the day. I prayed, then activated Step Three; with energy I did not know I had, I enlisted gentleness, compassion, and patience. My body relaxed, and I resumed my stretching exercises—yet, another instance of Higher Power ingesting my angst like the scarab dung beetle venerated by ancient Egyptians.

Step Ten also urged spiritual practices before the day’s beginning and at its end. As a hedge against self-centeredness/ isolation, I prayed to be shown how to be useful to others. At day’s end, I took an inventory of behaviors, both positive and negative, and if an amends was owed, sought counsel with my sponsor.

Such attention to my psyche has trained me in honesty I never believed possible. If

Higher Power cared that much, then spending more time with Him in prayer and meditation, would further enhance our relationship, both now and in eternity.

Step Eleven fitted in here.