Like a single grain of wheat tossed upon parched ground, we feel huge discomfit: estrangement from familiar routines, isolation in lockdown homes and solitary walks, the constriction of unaccustomed silence, and starvation for vital nutrients. Gone are the predictable sources of affirmation, save for our pets. Such pain and suffering are getting old: the funny jokes, no longer funny, topics of conversation lapsing into fickle weather patterns. Each morning’s tally of the victims seems to preclude considering our own.
Yet, Kovid-19 intensifies its killing swath like trigger-happy ghouls firing into the empty night. An epidemiologist likened this virus to an unpredictable Mexican jumping bean—no telling where its contagion will next appear.
How face this crisis that seems to have longer legs than first anticipated? How remain intact before its dismembering, despite slow-burning fears roasting our innards?
Back to the single grain of wheat for a response: it must die to its shortsighted will, it must allow the combing of the new deceased, it must scour the heart of stuff, it must acknowledge its creatureliness. With acceptance, comes fresh growth—this is God’s work.
Such life lessons continue informing my hospice experience, soon to enter its sixth month of praying, listening, and waiting. There’s still much to learn.
Jesus also spoke of the single grain of wheat in the Gospel of John. We’re in good company.
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March 31, 2020 at 2:02 pm
BERNADETTE
Liz, l have responded to many of your blogs lately. I read them every day and rejoice at the evolution of your written word and at the spirit within you. You have arrived, Liz. I do not know why you are in hospice, but you are living , note. Living, through this end stage of your journey as the woman l knew from my first awareness of you: beautiful, elegant. Open to the love of God. You have only dug deeper and found your reason for being. Thank you, liz, for sharing your journey with us. Bernie
March 31, 2020 at 8:42 pm
heart-whisperings
Hi Bernie,
Thanks for your loving response.
My long history with Rheumatoid Arthritis has led to Interstitial Lung Disease that is shortening my life. Bone-tired by treatments, I opted for hospice last November. I’m grateful to have had sufficient energy to blog this experience.
Let us keep each other in prayer.
Love,
Liz